Friday, January 28, 2011
For anyone who knows what its like to hide their pain behind a smile....
There was a point in time where people didn't hide themselves behind fake smiled and laughter. There was a point in time where each and every smile was real and filled with joy instead of hidden pain. In order to go back to that we would have to go back in time entirely, go back to when all we cared about was what color power ranger and the only time we cried was when we fell and cut ourselves, but we never cried long because we wanted to be the tough guy the could handle the pain and laughed it off. Now when we cry we cry ourselves to sleep or spend the entire night crying. Lets go back when we would take turns being the blue ranger. One day you would be the blue ranger and the next day your best friend would be. Back when you both you run around and hate having to go inside to eat and had to wait till the next day before you two got to hang out. When everyone would meet up at the park and run around being a super hero because we didn't have to be doctors and lawyers. Because we could be the blue ranger even though we were girl and where we could fly with the birds because our imaginations would take us that far. Now let take a walk in to the real world now. Now we know what parents are really fighting about and the hurtful words aren't fixed so easily and so easily forgotten. Now we hate more things and love less. Now we cry more and laugh less. Now the real world is only a few steps in front of us and we have to be that Lawyer or that music producer because if we aren't we aren't going to survive long. Now one day we can't be batman and the next be the flash now or careers and families are going to be all we have and even then we can barely rely on our families. Our families are the ones that cause us the most pain. The people we love most cause us the most pain. So for the time being we drowned ourselves in our music and act as if nothing is wrong. We scream loudly but the music is still louder. We drowned our pain but like a dead body it always resurfaces and we are forced to face it again. It gets harder and harder for us to fun away because the problems continue to grow. Only we truthfully know ourselves and how each situation effects us and over time people realize what affects people in what ways. We push people away in the hope we push the pain away but that only makes the pain grow more because then we feel alone even when we are surrounded by people. So now it is time for the key lesson in all of this. Stop wanting to grow up, stop pushing people away, stop hiding your pain, its okay to cry, don't be in a hurry to face the real world because its not going anywhere. We aren't promised tomorrow so we should start spending it as happy as we were when we were power rangers and playing with dolls and action figures because some day we will be the doctors and lawyers and music producers of our generation, we will be the firefighters and the police. We control the future so lets actually be the ones that make it brighter instead of gloomy.
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